I was tired today after first causing a fender bender in the pre-school parking lot, going to a temp job interview, picking up the pre-schooler, making lunch, playing Candy Land with the pre-schooler, volunteering at “big kid” school for a couple of hours, picking up the big kids, making dinner, etc., etc., So I was sitting in the den watching a mindless show and zoning while the girls were playing in the dining room around the corner from where I was. I overheard Evangeline (7) say to Charis (3), “Tomorrow we only have a half day of school. And then we can play together every day over Christmas break!” Charis responded with an enthusiastic and happy sounding, “Yeah!”

Our 4th and youngest child is treated differently than the older ones. I know this isn’t a shock. It happens in most families. I, too, am a youngest child. I know I had it better than my older siblings. My mom had 8 children before me who were all 2 – 2 1/2 years apart. Then I came along 4 years after #8. Those 4 years gave me a cushion of time that allowed me to have my mom to myself more of the time than any other child before me. When everyone else was in school, I was with Mom. Charis, our youngest, is 4 years younger than her 3 older siblings. The 3 older children are very close in age: #1 – 4/96; #2 10/97; #3 6/99. So in a little more than 3 years, they arrived, boom, boom, boom. They really never had a time when they didn’t have each other.

Charis, on the other hand, is a memory to all of them. They all remember when she was born and watching her grow through her infancy into toddlerhood, and now into being a pre-schooler. She is the baby not only to Mark and me, but to them as well. She also has alone time with Mommy and Daddy while the kids are at school. Admittedly, she plays by herself a good bit and she watches tv, but she has us available all the time.

She also has the advantage of Mark and me admiring all her cute little habits while we say to ourselves, “She’s our last one. We’ll never see this kind of behavior again.” So she gets a little special place in our memory because she represents the end of babies to us.

Entertaining herself also brings out the creative side of her, and we enjoy watching that develop as well.

Cute Charis Story
So here’s the cute baby of the family story for the day. . .

Mark was watching Charis “read” to herself today. She was looking at a book we have read to her often. It is a book about colors. When I read it to her, I’ll ask her to say the color. If she gets it wrong, I’ll correct her and say, “No, it’s not blue” (or whatever color). When Mark was watching her, she was saying the lines of the story out loud. Then she would say my part, “What color is it?” Then she would say, “Blue.” She would go on to correct herself, “No, it’s not blue, it’s purple.” I guess as the last child at home, she has to be her own playmate, and sometimes she has to role-play being read to.

(You may not recognize these people; but this is really us)

I’ve been thinking about my wedding over the last week or so. I guess because our anniversary is coming up, my wedding has been on my mind. What were Mark and I thinking 15 years ago at this time when our wedding was looming 3 weeks away? I remember being very busy. Apart from the planning the wedding, Mark and I worked together for a ministry where we published the organization’s magazine and newsletters. We were trying to get everything done for those publications so that we wouldn’t have to worry about anything on our lengthy 2-week honeymoon. I remember running all over South Florida looking for little things to make the wedding just right. The day of the wedding was “cold.” It was in the 60s and windy. We were married on a Friday night, 5 days before Christmas. We chose this day because it was the only day we could get the church during the busy Christmas season. I wanted to get married then because the church was so beautifully decorated that I didn’t have to worry about the expense or the selection of decorative flowers. I will never regret getting married at Christmas time. The church was beautiful, and the overall feeling of the holidays added to the celebratory atmosphere of our wedding.

A couple of days ago, while I was doing things in my little dungeon office in our basement, I came across the audio tape of our wedding ceremony. I listened to it while I did some work at my desk. Our boss at the ministry at that time, George Grant, performed our ceremony. He preached a very “covenental” ceremony. Mark’s parents and brother were not “reformed” at the time, so we heard a few comments about that. The music was really beautiful, too. Hearing to the soloist now is sad because she was a friend and co-worker who became apostate about 5 years after we were married.

The sermon George gave made it sound like our wedding was a pivotal part of the history of Christendom. Now, I know, in reality, not many people over the course of time will know anything about us or what our role has been in the world or in the church for that matter. But in the same way that there are things about God we can’t truly understand like the Trinity or how we’re truly impacted by baptism or taking the Lord’s supper, I do believe that there is something mysterious and awesome about marriage–especially when it works well. Does our marriage always work well? No. But for what I will call “the first part of the long haul,” I think it is working well. I am thankful for that day nearly 15 years ago when Mark agreed to be my husband. I am thankful for the history we share and the children we now have together. I would do several things differently if I were given the chance. But the important things would stay the same. I would still marry Mark. I would still follow him across the country despite the stress this sometimes entailed. I would still move furniture in and out of domiciles with him, even though these experiences often tested the strength of our marriage more than some little moment in time should. When I look back over the past 15 years, I am happy with who we were and who we are becoming. Even when I feel uncertain about so many things, I feel sure God led me to the right person to be my partner in life. This is a good feeling when the hard things in life come. It is one of God’s great mercies in life to put strong and godly people around us to help us endure all that comes our way.

(I wrote this on Tuesday, and didn’t get a chance to post it. Since then, Mark and I didn’t much sleep from Tuesday night to Wed morning. Then my Wed trip to the chiropractor was the most helpful ever. Tonight, Thanksgiving night, I am feeling better than I thought possible. All the pain is not gone, but I can move without wincing; I can walk up the stairs. Praise God!)

Back Pain

This Thanksgiving season began with me heading out to help the my two boys and their cub scout/webelos troops collect food for the scouting for food service project last Saturday. Before heading out, I was helping Nevin finish a last minute acheivement requirement. We were working at my desk in the basement. I stood up, and I felt a twinge of pain in my back. I proceeded up the stairs to leave. I thought I would just push through the pain and get a therma-care patch at the drug store on the way to meet up with their troops. When I got in the van, the pain was worse. Then I got out to straighten out my seat belt, and I couldn’t get back in. The pain was too much.

Mark came out and helped me into the house. We didn’t go scouting for food. I called my friend whose a physical therapist. She recommended movement and a few exercises. On Sunday, I missed church. My PT friend came by to work on some exercises with me. A church friend sent some ice packs and a 6-pack of beer home (more for Mark than for me). Another friend called saying she would send a meal for Monday evening. Monday, I headed to the chiropractor. It helped, it couldn’t take away all the inflamed muscle tissue around my vertebrae. I followed the chiros advice and iced my back as much as possible all day and nignt on Monday. I discovered a less painful way to sleep on Monday night, so this morning, I wasn’t as stiff when I woke up.

This morning, I went back to the chiropractor. I felt pretty good when I went in. When I came out, I was more sore than I was going in. By mid-afternoon, I started to feel better, so I have been able to take care of a few minor things at home. I am going back to the chiropractor again tomorrow. I hope my continual icing of the muscle today proves helpful, and I am closer to being pain fee tomorrow.

Cute Kids

During this whole back problem, the kids have been curious about this thing rendering Mommy helpless. Charis has been exceptionally cute. When she came down stairs this morning she asked me, “Mommy, are you all better now?” I said, “No. Not yet.” She said, “I hope you’re better soon.” Tonight she offered to rub my back for me. I let her, and she put he little hand over the painful area of my back. It didn’t really help, but it was awfully sweet. The older kids have been not as “cute,” but they have been helpful by running after things, picking things up from the floor, and waching after Charis.

Thanksgiving
I am thankful for many things. I am thankful for a considerate and helpful husband who loves me. My friend saw our wedding photo the other day when she was helping me. She didn’t recognize us. We both look a lot different–due to age and weight gain. But our nearly 15 years together are definitely something to be thankful for. I am also thankful for the cute kids. They drive us crazy a lot of the time, but I would rather be crazy than unhappy. I was so unhappy during the nearly 2 years it took for us to conceive Calvin. I can be nothing but thankful for him and the 3 that followed him. I am also Thankful for the love of Christ in my life and the life of my family. Some might think it is sort of cheesey to list the things I am thankful for, but I think it is really important to recognize God’s gracious hand in my life.

So I planned to put up all the kids school photos, but my scanner gave me some problems. It is actually probably the old PC that the scanner is attached to. I hate having to move things around, but I think I will have to hook up the scanner to my laptop for future scanning needs. Therefore, the photos of the kids will have to wait.

In other news, Calvin has his first band concert tonight. Yes. A bunch of 5th graders playing instruments after only 2 months of practice. It should be entertaining. However, in Calvin’s defense, when I have heard him practicing his saxaphone at home, he has done an admirable job, and we don’t feel like running away. He actually hits the right notes, and we recognize the tune.

No other big news. I finished my first training assignment for my new at-home ad copywriting job yesterday. I received a note from the co-ordinator today that I won’t get my official feedback until next week. So I guess I’ll have to take care of my own stuff tomorrow. I cleaned up about 2 weeks worth of papers that were stacked around my work space in the basement this afternoon. That always makes me feel better about life.

Stay tuned for some photos in the next couple of days. Until then . . .

We were short one of our normal crew for Halloween night trick or treating. Calvin was home with the stomach flu, but this witch, little cat, and Ninja, had a great time collecting treats
on a really great crisp fall night in our new neighborhood and a few places beyond it.

This photo shows all Calvin was able to manage this Halloween. (Take note of the lovely wallpaper in the background. We like to call this space “the Laura Ashley Room.”)

Here you see our lovely Jack O Lanterns. They aren’t great works of art, but I did let the girls really help me. They looked very festive as they greeted treat seekers who came to our door.

We had a great Halloween season. The boys’ cubscout pack party gave them another opportunity to don costumes. This photo is from that night:

The last photo has nothing to do with Halloween. It was the treat I got from a “neighbor.” I joined freecycle.com last month, and I have tried to get a few things since joining. On Friday, I saw a trampoline listed, and it was from someone in our zipcode. It turned out they were two streets over, and I contacted them soon enough to be chosen to receive the trampoline. So the kids bounced all Saturday and Sunday afternoons. That’s why this photo is out of focus.

Wow! How does time fly by so quickly? We were busy again this week, but I won’t go into all the details like I did last Friday. Suffice it to say: 4 kids, Halloween, a birthday party, the end of the stomach flu trip through our house.

I feel pretty good about the week. I took care of lots of kid things, and I was offered a part-time at-home copywriting job that I am really excited about. I also saw one of my press releases for the children’s school get picked up in one of the local weekly papers. So work wise, I feel like the week was successful.

We are going through a major transition in our lives, though. So our emotional health is on something of a rollercoaster. I am trying to look for good things to cheer about in everyday life to keep the negative thoughts away. If you think of it, say a prayer for us. We are trusting God, but we still have to fight off doubt and despair.

Let’s start with today. Today is this smiling 3rd grader’s 9th birthday. Nine years ago today, Mark was in seminary, working full-time, and generally very busy. My OB wanted to induce Nevin 10 days early, so we chose October 27 as the day because Mark was on fall break from seminary. It was a good delivery. All went well, and we had our second boy. We are so thankful for Nevin’s sweet spirit. He, like all children, is not perfect. But he’s one of our 4 gifts from God and we are grateful for him.

Since his birthday falls so close to Halloween, we decided to have his “friend” party next weekend. So today, he was allowed to choose what he wanted for dinner. Here’s the menu he requested: mozzarella sticks, salisbury steak (affectionately known at our house as “gravy meat,” and mashed potatoes. I must say that I lucked out as far as ease of preparation is concerned. We ate dinner early because I have to get Calvin over to school for his school musical.

The rest of the week:
Monday – Helped Mark with his resume; laundry.
Tuesday – Worked on press release for the children’s school; laundry; helping with school fundraiser, cleaning up vomit due to littlest girl’s stomach virus.
Wednesday – Entertaining little girl recovering from stomach flu; laundry; more work on resumes–Mark’s and mine.
Thursday– Call drain opening service to unclog our sewer line; attend women’s Bible study; buy birthday present; work on writing test for job prospect; laundry; buy thrift store items to turn into Indian costume for school musical; attend another Bible study (yes, I am super spiritual), go grocery schopping; make Indian costume, wake up an hour after going to bed to clean up daughter #2’s vomit from stomach virus.
Friday–Send package in the mail; drop by school with forgotten band instrument; quick trip to the grocery store; read to the sick girl and her younger sister; make lunch; laundry; send press release to local papers; short nap; create culinary masterpiece of gravy meat and mashed potatoes with side of mozarella sticks; review report cards; deal with school discipline issue for the birthday boy; eat supper; blog; head off to school musical.

It’s not very interesting, but listing out everything done for the week makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. I am also glad to be reporting on the tasks of my home rather than the tasks of working away from home. I am thankful for all the mundane tasks this week. Even being able to comfort the sick girls. Of course, I am expecting to be comforting sick boys at some point over the next few days, too.

This is a picture of the teaberry plant, aka, Gaultheria procumbens. This plant grows in the area of my home town in Western PA. As a kid, I remember chewing teaberry gum and eating teaberry icecream. Some people say the flavor reminds them of peptobismo, but I think it is really much more tasty than that. It is sort of minty–like wintergreen–but it is a flavor like no other. Recently on a walk through the aisles of the dollar store, I came across teaberry gum. I have only ever eaten the ice cream in my home town. Over the years as Mark and I have moved to different parts of the country, I have never been able to find it. The gum has also seemed to be elusive, so finding it at the dollar store was pretty amazing to me.

So if you ever see a pink pack of Clark’s Teaberry Gum or if you are traveling in the Mid-Atlantic states and someone offers you teaberry icecream, you will at least now have some idea what you’re in for.

Last Monday, shortly after 8:30 pm, our phone service was disconnected. By Tuesday morning, we had a dial tone, but horrible static. With the phone line, high-speed dsl went away. I hobbled through Tuesday with no connection and without calling the phone company because I thought they would fix it on their own. They didn’t.

On Wednesday, I went to St Louis Bread Co and drank coffee and spent 2+ hours on the phone and the internet calling the phone company to report the problem, paying bills on line, and catching up on e-mail. The phone company told me it would take until today, Sunday, to fix the phone service.

I didn’t make it to Bread Co again to check e-mail until Saturday. I felt completely disconnected from the outside world. How did I function without internet banking, e-mail, and access to electronic information at my fingertips 24/7?

At last, today after church, I was pulling out of the driveway to run to the store, and the phone repair truck was approaching our house. The repair man asked if anyone was home, I gleefully answered, “Yes. My husband’s inside.” I went to the store, came home, put lunch on the table, and within 45 minutes, we had our phone service and our internet connection back.

I am spoiled. I admit it. Now the spoiled girl is just happy to have what she wants!