Chez Jennifer

Each year, I am required to do a Ground Hog Day post.  I am obligated because of my family heritage.  Both my parents were born in Punxsutawney, home to Punxsutawney Phil.  Since life is even more hectic than usual, this will be just a cursory meeting of my obligation.

I was talking with Mom on the phone last night.  She said that there has been some controversy regarding the care of Phil in Punxsutawney.  Can you believe it, PETA has taken notice of Phil!?  Here’s a link to the bru-ha-ha.  For the record, Phil is in better living conditions than some children in the state of Pennsylvania.  PETA need not worry for his comfort.

Finally, here’s news of the prognosticator’s prediction.  Phil saw his shadow–6 more weeks of winter.  But think about it, the choices are: he sees his shadow, then there’s 6 more weeks of winter.  If he doesn’t see his shadow, then spring’s just around the corner.  There’s not too much difference between  6 weeks and “just around the corner” is there?

I leave you with photos of my children on our last pilgramage to Punxsutawney in  2007.  They have grown, but Punxsutawney is still the same little town about 20 minutes south of where I grew up.

Opportunity.  That’s what my new boss calls problems or challenges in life.  The cynical me thinks it is pretty cheesy.  I even joke with him about it by referring to difficult issues that arise in the office as: OPPORTUNITIES–said with fake enthusiasm and a big plastic grin!

But I have to admit that there is something to thinking about life from a more positive perspective.  Despite many “OPPORTUNITIES” in our life this past month (and, let’s face it, practically always), God continues to show us how He can provide for and sustain us.  Sometimes he uses friends and family; sometimes He brings about some unimagined circumstance, and sometimes He just provides you with the mental, emotional, and spiritual stamina needed to maintain an even keel through what’s seems a storm of life.  Most of the time in my life, I have managed to come around to resting in God’s grace through difficult circumstances, but it really does make things much more peaceful to remember that grace at the start of a challenge by thinking of it as an opportunity for God to show His grace and glory to me and to those around me.

Psalm 73:28

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.

Hebrews 10:22

Let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.

James 1:2-8

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.  But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

So Christmas has come and gone, and I missed posting last week.   This will be quick, but I felt a need to check in with the blogosphere before the year ends.

The new job continues to go well.  I have been “baptized by fire” in starting a job at a large church in the midst of the advent/Christmas season.  Then next week, I am heading to New Orleans for a conference with other staff members.  I will be there to serve as a helper in registration, etc., but I am sure it will be enjoyable in some ways.  I am not looking forward to airport security, though.  If at all possible, I might squeeze in a meal with my older sister Sandy who lives 90 minutes from NOLA.

Mark’s parents were here for the Christmas holiday.  They came a week before Christmas and left yesterday.  It was great to have them here even if I only saw them evenings and weekends. As usual, they were a help to us.  I sure did appreciate meals being made while I was on my way home from work, help with the laundry, some babysitting, and even the preparation of Christmas treats for my co-workers.  The children enjoyed having them here, and the boys have headed back to Dallas with them for an extended visit.  Below is a photo of the 3 younger children with their Granddaddy on his birthday which he was able to celebrate with us. (Calvin was off at basketball practice during the photo op.)

Just to keep life from getting boring, our new-to-us-for-8-months van died a sudden death over the weekend.  Mom and the girls and I were out the day after Christmas to fulfill the promise of Build-a-Bears that were under the tree, and the van just stopped in the middle of the road in an upscale St Louis neighborhood.  Because we were in the middle of the road, the police had to come.  The van was towed, and we awaited news of its diagnosis until Monday.  Late Monday morning we were told it would not be fixable as the time belt had broken and took some pistons and valves down with it.  So the drama of our life continues to unfold.  Perhaps photos of a replacement vehicle will appear sometime soon.  We’re praying for that to happen.

Bedtime has come, so I leave you with more pictures from Christmas.  Happy New Year!

Work

New job is going well.  I am on a big learning curve, so it will take some time to get a routine going.  But it still feels like a good fit.  Mark is a trooper, and the kids and I are missing each other.  But so far we are managing, and we’ve been eating dinner together most nights.

Pensive

So work, and family, and the details of my life are always on my mind, but the last few days my heart has been heavy for other people.  We have young friends who are going through a terrible trial, and I hurt so much for them.  I don’t know how to help, but I am praying.  My own extended family is also facing a trial.  My brothers were involved in a car accident last week.  One brother was driving, another was the passenger.  The driver of the car they hit died.  They are awaiting news of an investigation of the accident regarding fault.  In addition, they are also dealing with the guilt involved for the life of the other driver who is now gone and who left behind a wife and three children.  I am concerned for my mom and my brothers and the family of this man.

God is good, and God is faithful.  I have to trust He knows what is best, but sometimes it is hard.  This is the passage that is giving me comfort this week in regard to all that is on my heart and mind:

Romans 8: 18 -39

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.  For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.  For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.  And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.  And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.  And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
God’s Everlasting Love

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.  Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Here are a few things I am thinking about this week  . . .

Advent

We managed to get out the Christmas decorations before the Advent season began this year.  So for two whole days, Charis begged me to let her “do” the Advent calendar before the first day.  The first day to use the calendar came on Tuesday, which also happened to be the first day I started my new job.  I got up at 6:15 that morning, and I was relaxing and thinking about my day when Charis appeared in the living room at 7:15.  She said, “Do you know what day it is?  It’s Tuesday.  It’s the first day!”  I asked her if she wanted to “do” the advent calendar without the other children, and she did.  So she went over to the calendar, pulled out the scripture card and ornament for the day.  The scripture was Psalm 100, and the ornament was a trumpet.  We talked about what it means to make a joyful noise to the Lord, and how joyful we are that Jesus was born.  I didn’t think of it then, but the trumpet is often used to announce the arrival of royalty.  What a great way to start thinking about the coming of King Jesus!  It was also a great way to start my first day of work.

Activity

The new job obviously brings more activity to our household.  I am now gone for the whole day, and for the month of December, Mark has all 4 kids home for homeschooling.  Beginning after Christmas, we hope to send the girls back to the Christian school they attended last year, and the boys will both continue homeschooling.

In addition to the job, we have basketball for Calvin.  He had a game Monday evening, and their team played well and won.  I am so happy with the homeschool basketball program he is in.  It is so refreshingly different than youth league football.  The coaches are Christian men who really care about the team members.  I don’t worry about bad language or  vulgar conversation.  I don’t worry about the coach using inappropriate motivators to make the team work harder.  It is a good thing.

Evangeline’s choir has several performances with the orchestra for the Nutcracker this weekend at the fabulous Fox Theater in St Louis; Calvin has an away basketball game;  Nevin and Calvin have a choir concert, and we are throwing Nevin’s belated birthday party on Sunday afternoon.  I’ll be grateful to rest at work when Monday comes!

Affirmation

Now for talk about the new job.  Affirmation is the word that best describes how I feel in this new position.  Day 1 was full of information and new people.  My head was spinning with details.  But in all that spinning, I felt very welcomed and appreciated–affirmed over and over again of my skills and gifts.  I am not big into all the warm fuzzy talk, but I have to say I have been blown away by the consistent kindness of the people I am working with and the church members I am meeting this week.  Part of the pastoral staff’s philosophy of ministry is something called “radical hospitality,” and the way I have been treated this week makes me feel like they really know how to communicate it to the church’s membership.

Day 2 was much more calm as I had more time to absorb information and look at things on my own.   If I take things one day at a time, I think things will come together over time.

It is strange to not see the kids until late in the afternoon, but Mark is holding everything together well.  Thanks to all who have been praying for us.  It makes a difference.

One More Thing . . .

I wrote most of this post on Wednesday, but I didn’t get it up yesterday because I wanted to get the photo of the Advent calendar uploaded before hitting the “publish” button.   So, today is actually Thursday, and it is my wonderful husband’s birthday.  Happy Birthday, Mark.  I love you.

Big News:  I accepted an offer for a full-time job.  It is an administrative position with a large church.  We are thankful for the opportunity.  If you think of it, pray for all the adjustments to our family life in the weeks and months ahead.

Kids: Girls will hopefully go back to their school of last year.  We’re working on the details.  The boys will both stay home with Mark and continue homeschooling.  As I said, adjustments . . .

Thanksgiving:  We are thankful for many things this year.  The new job is one, but we are also so grateful to God for the way he has consistently met our needs by providing Mark with writing projects these last 6 months.  We are praying for more of the same.

We are also thankful for family and friends who care for us.  So many times we call on people for help, and they come through.  God uses people graciously in our lives, and it is a blessing that can’t be overlooked.

A little less important, but on my mind–I am thankful for the delete button on my e-mail application.  If I couldn’t delete all these ads for Black Friday specials, I would have to cancel my e-mail account!

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!

Lately, I have noticed that I am biting my tongue more than I have done in the past.

For example, this past summer because of a misunderstanding regarding one of my many children’s activities, we ended up missing a fun outing for the family and paying for it.  I was soooooo upset about this.  I wrote an e-mail expressing my frustration about what happened, and the board for the organization considered refunding our money.  I found out later, as I suspected, that they would not refund us.  I wanted to give them a good tongue lashing about their lack of concern for their members.  I started to write about 6 different messages.  Finally, I just wrote, “Thanks for asking the board about this.”

I find myself holding back my thoughts more and more as time passes.  I have finally started to realize that saying everything that comes to my mind will not always make things better and is not always necessary.

We start out as children saying any and everything that comes to our minds.  Then some of us get shy and don’t say much of anything.  There are others of us who continue speaking our minds with wild abandon, and we wonder why we have trouble getting along with people.  Pop-psychology encourages us to “communicate,” “get everything out in the open,” “make sure our feelings are known.”  This sometimes opens up the shy person and it affirms the others who already value telling all.  Yet, it seems there is still some value to filtering what we say.

It is an idea worth consideration.  James wrote a lot about it:

James 1:26
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

James 3:1
[ Taming the Tongue ] Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.

James 3:5
So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!

James 3:6
And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

James 3:8
but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

Some people, perhaps, have more natural, or built-in, filters of what comes out of their mouths.  But I suspect most of us have to learn to use discretion. As we get to know Christ and come to a fuller understanding of what is important, the filter begins to form. As Christians, I think some of this has to do with the idea of “bearing each others burdens,” too.  Hopefully, as we mature, we learn that sometimes, we need to keep our hurt feelings and bruised egos to ourselves in the spirit of Christian unity–thus biting our tongues for the sake of others.

Kids:  So we are coming to the end of one semester of homeschooling all four kids.  Are they doing ok?  Yeah.  Are they learning as much as they did at school?  Maybe.  Is it easy?  No.  Is it my number one choice for their education? No.  Am I learning anything in the process?  Youbetcha!

Some good things are happening on the school front.  Today, referring to a book he is reading as part of his schoolwork, Calvin said, “This book is sorta hard to stop reading.”  He doesn’t mind reading, but he’s not a voracious reader like his brother, so this is big for him.  I think Charis’s reading is improving, too.  Teaching it to her is just turning my hair more gray every day

On another kid note, football is finally done!  Can I hear an Amen Sista!!!  This is the second week in which we have just been beside ourselves looking for things to do in the evenings instead of taking a boy to football.  Of course, Monday nights and Saturday afternoons we still have to take Calvin to basketball practice, but it is like a walk in the park compared to football.

Me:  I was a little sick during the month of October, and now, midway through November, I feel significantly better.  We have also been evaluating our life situation, and we have come to the conclusion that I probably need to work full-time.  Just today, I completed a fourth interview for a new full-time position.  It has really been a pleasant interview process, and, of course, I am wanting the job.  But if I don’t get it, I am trusting God for something better.

If I get it, there will obviously be some changes to the education process at our house.  But for now, I continue to be a homeschooling mom.

Books: Still in HP4 and Simply Christian.  I don’t have  much to say because I am so darn slow about reading lately.  But did I mention I have done 10 loads of laundry in 2 days?  The basement floor is visible now.  That’s something, right?

In Conclusion: This seems like a bailout post, but it will have to do.  Over and out until next Wednesday or until something significant happens before then.

In honor of Veterans’ Day, I am posting today’s poem from this book, Poem a Day.  I picked up my copy of this book for 25 cents at a thrift store.  I don’t read each day’s entry, but I do pick it up a few times a month.  I have enjoyed it as it provides me with a little literary thought to ponder now and again.

Gethsemane (1914 - 1918)

The Garden called Gethsemane

In Picardy, it was.

And there the people came to see

The English soldiers pass

We used to pass–we used to pass

Or halt, as it might be,

And ship our masks in case of gas

Beyond Gethsemane.

The Garden Called Gethsemane,

It held a pretty lass,

But all the time she talked to me

I prayed my cup might pass.

The officer sat on the chair,

The men lay on the grass,

And all the time we halted there

I prayed my cup might pass.

It didn’t pass–it didn’t pass–

It didn’t pass for me.

I drank it when we met the gas

beyond Gethsemane.

                             –Rudyard Kipling (30 December 1865 - 18 January 1936)

The armistice ending the First World War was signed on 11 November 1918.  Kipling’s son John was killed in the Battle of Loos on 27 September 1915.

For oh, so many years, I have felt like an octopus in church–or at least like I needed to be a creature with 8 arms to keep my little people in some modicum of decent behavior as our family attempted to worship God.  For 6+ years, I was doing most of my pew gymnastics solo as Mark was preaching every week.  Many Sundays, I felt like it was not worth it.

Something happened in church yesterday that confirmed my efforts were not in vain.   Immediately after the worship service, our oldest son, now 13,  said, “Mom, did you or Dad call Pastor and tell him about everything I have done wrong this week?”

I laughed and said, “No, why?”

“Well, this is the third week in a row that it seems like he was talking about stuff that I did,” he replied.

“Maybe God called Pastor about you, ” I said.

I laughed because only a kid thinks the world revolves around him so much that the pastor of his church would direct his sermon to him.  But the emotion that overcame me the most was joy because this means for at least the last 3 weeks, my 13-year-old has been paying attention to the sermon.  I also must add that after years of unwelcomed prodding to participate fully in worship by singing vigorously and to become fully engaged while reading the liturgy, he, along with his younger brother, can both be heard clearly by their fellow parishioners.

With this experience fresh in my mind, today several friends on facebook linked this article by Pastor Doug Wilson that encouraged me further in my parental efforts in the pew.  I am nearing the end of my physical struggles to parent in the pew, but I still have a pretty rascally 6-year-old daughter who needs some gentle prodding regarding behavior during worship.  So this encouragement is still needed to get me through to the end.  But I also need it because while the physical struggles are ending, the emotional and spiritual struggles are really beginning to heat up.

I now see why people want to keep their kids little forever.  As I see mine starting on the visible path to adulthood, I get more and more driven to pray for them. It would be so much easier if I could just keep wrestling with them to keep them still and quiet during church.