Whatever else you come away with from this post: I hope I didn’t mean to! and I hope to stop being stupid some day! top your list.
LESSON THE FIRST: never import your address book
Someone invited me to Shelfari and I joined. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that they nicely asked me which address book I wanted to import and, though I hesitated a moment, I went ahead and opted in with my google account.
Perhaps, joining Jott has softened me up (note: Jott is excellent and never gave me this kind of grief).
LESSON THE SECOND: uncheck everything
I was presented with a screen that started with the names of two people in my address book who were already Shelfari members. Beneath their names was an invite button. Underneath the button was a long long list of names, each with a box beside it that was checked. This was every single person I had ever for any reason saved in my google contacts list. I didn’t want to spend time deselecting loads of people, and I didn’t think I needed to. There was another invite button underneath this list. Two lists and two buttons. I figured I would invite the top two into the latest cyber-relationship that all the kids are doing these days and move on with my work day.
I could consider who to invite new to Shelfari later, when I had decided if it was worth it. I was perfectly safe clicking that button for the two that were already members. Right.
LESSON THE THIRD: truth takes time
As my mind restlessly rushes around searching for a scapegoat to blame for my own bone-headed mistake, GTD comes to mind. I try to keep my email in-basket as empty as possible. I didn’t plan to spend much time with Shelfari at that moment. I just wanted to have something to bookmark for later and to get rid of an email. So was I being rational in my assumptions about the two buttons? Were their warnings I ignored? I don’t remember but probably. I’m sure if I complain to the entrepreneurs at Shelfari that they will have a counter-accusation ready at hand. if I complain, they will probably blame my own stupidity. And I can’t completely deny that charge!
I should not have rushed.
LESSON THE FOURTH: it is never over in cyberspace
As you have already figured out, both buttons did the same thing and I ended up spamming every single google contact I had. That was bad enough. But then this morning I was told an email address was not available and that “my” email had bounced. Why didn’t this happen earlier? Because this was not dealing with the original email! Shelfari in their inscrutable wisdom has decided that they should repeatedly bother the people who don’t respond to their gracious invitation.
Why not? After all, they weren’t the official sender, even though I never authorized any haranguing. No, the email apparently came from me. And when a potential client I had been in touch with a few months ago–and with whom I still had hopes of nurturing a relationship–decided to bounce the annoying emails, it was my email address that he blocked.
As far as I know, everyone in my email list is going to be asked to join Shelfari until Judgment Day or a nuclear pulse ends the web, whichever comes first.
LESSON THE FIFTH: your gaming identity is probably not an appropriate generic handle
Then I got an email this morning from a nice lady whose church I had preached at, asking me who “Commonpreyr” was. At one time, by universal web handle was the much more savory sounding “Presbytermark.” But, for some reason I obviously did not think about very much, I grew tired of that name and reverted to my favorite handle from Halo. Well, if you like sardonic Anglican humor thrown in your face as I pick you off with a pistol or run you down in a Warthog, Commonpreyr works just fine (back in the nineties when I first started in online gaming with Team Fortress, my handle was Bookofcommonpreyer and Preyerbookworship, but Halo only allows a limited number of characters in a name).
But it is not a good generic name that one can send at random to anyone in one’s address book and expect a favorable response. In my defense, I use it mostly for web apps that I am not sharing with anyone, so the only consideration is that I remember it. But that put me in the habit of using it all the time without realizing the difference it makes to be joining a web 2.0 contraption.
Basically, every single contact I had got an email from someone who sounded like a stalker.
THUS ENDETH THE LESSON
And that’s the elephant in the room. It is just about time to apply to school and we are not sure what we are going to do. The school the kids attended for the last two years is way way out of our financial reach. Furthermore, Calvin did not thrive there. This was unexpected because, the year previous, thanks to a diligent teacher to whom we owe a great deal, we saw him make great strides. This year it was a nightmare of trying to get him to keep up with his different assignments in different classes (he had different classrooms in the fifth grade) and deal with the automatic consequences that accrued to any missed assignments or tardies. By the time the year was almost over I realized how much I had deconstructed him by what I had put him into. I couldn’t really help him because I could only get a vague idea of what the expectations were. And while they seemed reasonable (as far as I know the school wasn’t having problems with other students) the bottom line was that these were conflicts that were not helping him mature and were issues that, if it had been in my power, I would have delayed for a later time when he was a little bit more grown up.