In the sixth season of Buffy, Xander and Anya decide to trade up from living in sin and get married. (A good discussion could be had asking if Xander’s ambivalence about marriage has anything to do with the fact that there is no reason the show can give as to why marriage ever takes place at all, but some other time.) Anya used to be a “vengeance demon” a being who granted wishes of harm to those who felt victimized–wreaking horrible curses on the alleged victimizer. She had, in her initial encounter with “the Scoobies” (Buffy and friends) ended up losing her powers and becoming the human she had been disguising herself as (it turned out she had been a human centuries before and been recruited by demon pimp sort of entity).

The wedding turns into disaster. A victim of Anya’s demon vengeance from long before has built up the resources to appear and scare Xander away from marriage. Even after he learns that he was being lied to he will not change his mind. He leaves her at the altar.

Eventually, Xander and Anya meet again. What Xander doesn’t know is that Anya has been re-recruited and re-demonized. She is a vengeance demon again. And she is very angry and hurt.

What Anya has forgotten though is that she cannot grant herself wishes. Here is what happens:

ANYA: (angry) I wish you felt the pain of a thousand searing pokers boiling your heart in its own juices!
XANDER: I know, honey. I totally deserve that.
ANYA: (confused) I … I wish you had tentacles where your beady eyes should be! I wish your intestines were tied in knots and ripped apart inside your lousy gut!
XANDER: (sadly) They are.
ANYA: (hopeful) Really? (Xander nods) Right now? Does it hurt?
XANDER: God, yes. It hurts so bad it’s killing me. Anya … I love you, I want to make this work.
ANYA: (annoyed) Those are metaphor intestines! You’re not in any real pain! What’s wrong with me?

Listening to the lectures of N. T. Wright on Philippians has shown me that I have been confused in a similar way when I read Paul’s letter:

Look out for the dogs, look out for the evildoers, look out for those who mutilate the flesh. For we are the real circumcision, who worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh—though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh also. If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness, under the law blameless. But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

The question Wright leads me to ask myself is: Why have I assumed Paul was referring to metaphor loss?

Think about it. Paul was raised by parents. The way he was raised led him directly into persecuting the Church. Had he yet received his inheritance? Had he been married to a wife who was from his same background and upbringing? We don’t know, but Paul states that he lost something. It could easily have been an inheritance, or a family. He certainly lost his standing in any extended family he had.

Paul doesn’t just say he counted everything as loss or rubbish. He says he actually lost everything he had and, rather than being upset or trying to get it back, he simply reckoned what he had lost as worse than worthless. Philippians 3 belongs with other texts such as:

But recall the former days when, after you were enlightened, you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one (Hebrews 10.32-34).And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?” But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Then Peter said in reply, “See, we have left everything and followed you. What then will we have?” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, in the new world, when the Son of Man will sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first (Matthew 19.23-30).

Perhaps my problem is simply that I let Paul’s application for the Philippians drown out the things he particularly says. Many of the Philippians, like most of us most of the time, did not face the stark options that he faced. We can be Christians and keep our standing in society and often in our family networks. The Philippians were, likewise, still Roman citizens. But Paul was using himself in relation to Judaism to teach the Philippians about where their own loyalties must lie. Everyone of us must sit loose of these things we value and be ready to count it as a great privilege to give them up for Jesus.

He is worth all things. He suffered all things for us. Those weren’t metaphor nails, either.