Author: Tricia

Today marks 24 months on the wait list.

Or, if you prefer smaller numbers, 2 years on the wait list.

Which is another way of saying today marks two years since we became what is known as “dossier ready” in the adoption world, ie: our dossier was complete and logged in with the powers that be in Ethiopia. Since that time we have been legally eligible to receive a referral for a little girl who will, Lord willing, some day join our family. We began our process closer to three years ago, but have chosen to keep track of the official dossier-ready date since that is more common among our friends and acquaintances who are in the middle of or have completed the adoption process.

Tonight Abigail and I had the radio on while we drove home. I wasn’t listening all that closely but my ears perked up when the strains of a familiar Christmas tune began. How could that be? It’s only November 16th, and Thanksgiving is almost a full week away. Shocked that this radio station should commit the egregious sin of playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving week has even begun, I tried to change the channel, but Abigail insisted that she loves Christmas music and couldn’t I please just keep it on for her sake? I grumbled and muttered something about people who insist upon running all the holidays together, blah blah blah but eventually I joined my daughter in belting out a few Christmas tunes and we had a jolly time singing together.

And then it happened. After “Do You Hear What I Hear” finished playing, the station that doesn’t know you’re not supposed to play Christmas music till it’s Christmastime played the song that was performed back in 1984 by a collaboration of British artists known as “BandAid” (including Bono, David Bowie, and Sting plus many others) for the purpose of helping to raise awareness of the terrible famine that was impacting Ethiopia at the time. The performance brought in millions of dollars of aid and the song has become so popular that you’ll hear it over and over again on your local radio stations around the Christmas holiday. And, as I learned today, even well before the holiday. So be it.

The song is called “Do They Know It’s Christmastime” and ok, sure, it’s not the most amazing prose ever crafted, but it was written with Ethiopia’s children in mind so it hit home pretty hard on this, our two year anniversary of officially waiting for Little Sister. And I realized that wherever she is right now, and whatever loss or tragedy she has suffered in her short life so far, she doesn’t yet know she is loved and wanted and yearned for by a family around the globe who wonders how many more months it will be till we see her little face and know who she is. And even if we get a referral tomorrow (which we won’t because I’m pretty sure Gladney doesn’t give referrals out on the weekends) there is no way she’d be home in time this year to spend Christmas with us, here in our home, as part of our family. All of this came in a rush at me while Bono sang his heart out about Ethiopia and I began sobbing and crying for this little girl whom we have spent years journeying to, but whom we have not yet reached.

And now, if I were a great writer, I would pen a paragraph here which ties all this up into some tidy and finished package, bringing in the unmistakable comparison about how we weren’t even aware of God’s love and care for us, or our need for His grace and love, and yet He pursued us passionately and at great cost to Himself. With an undying, unfailing, never giving up, never stopping love. But I don’t feel any compulsion to present you with a neat package or a beautifully crafted ending. Because adoption is not neat or tidy and because we don’t yet know how this story turns out.

And so for now, we continue to wait. And to pray. To love this little girl we haven’t yet met or even seen a picture of. And to trust God for what lies ahead for her and for our family, for tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.

Today marks 23 months since we first got on the wait list with Gladney.

The wait has been hard, hard, hard these past few months…but we are encouraged to see families continue to receive referrals, slow though they are. We know that things are slow because our agency is working harder and longer than ever before to ensure that children’s documents are put together properly, and that these little ones’ cases and histories are investigated thoroughly and honestly before families are presented with referrals. This is comforting…especially given recent allegations of fraud and corruption in the adoption world. Hang in there, sweet baby girl…we hope it won’t be too much longer!!

For 5 months I’ve been MIA on this blog. I’ve considered shutting it down, but I just can’t bring myself to do that. Yet it also would seem I can’t bring myself to sit down and actually write anything, whether of substance…or not! This weekend, I am sick: fever, coughing, and generally just feeling crummy. Given how I feel, the idea of housework is unthinkable. I’d curl up with a good book, but my head hurts too much to read.  Even food holds little appeal. So, I thought I’d try a little blogging…here’s a bit of what’s happening here at House of Horne.

We’ve been remodeling our kitchen…whew, what an experience this has been. Maybe some day I’ll write about it. Maybe someday…it will even be done. Very thankful we’ve been able to do this…but there have definitely been days that didn’t merit any Saturday night fever poses.

We are well into our second consecutive (4th overall) year of homeschooling, and I can honestly say that we are loving it. It’s not without its challenges — I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it is sometimes very hard, but the kids are thriving and I am appreciating this time with them more than I ever have.

My baby just turned 7. Oh my heart. What a joy he continues to be…but can anyone tell me: how do the years fly by so fast?

That adoption we used to blog about?  Yeah, it’s still very much in the works…I find that many people don’t even ask us about it anymore b/c they assume perhaps we gave up or abandoned the process or something. That’s ok, I understand….and I know folks mean well. The process has certainly stretched out way beyond any timeline I ever imagined when we began this journey. I suppose we Hornes continue to learn that we don’t get to choose how life happens…and I have enough (nowhere near as much as I’d like, but just barely enough) faith to believe that things would not be better were I in charge. No. way. I hope maybe in the not too distant future that we’ll have news to share on this front.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a tv date with this beautiful girl — just the girl, not the horse —

to watch some Wives and Daughters. Hat tip to Aunt Jennifer for the suggestion!! 🙂

Yesterday marked 18 months on the waitlist for us….

Referrals have slowed to an average of about 2 per month these days. Those of you asking how much longer…well, we are around #36 on the wait list, give or take.

Not a whole lot more to say.

Wow.

I never, ever thought I’d be writing a post with this title.

Today marks exactly 17 months that we have been on the Gladney list of families who await a referral for the child/children we will be matched to for adoption.

Given the date, it seems rather fitting that just this morning, a social worker from Gladney visited us in our home to perform the required update to our Home Study. Each 18 months the home study must be briefly updated to reflect any changes in the family/home. (Our changes by the way were rather boring overall: in the 18 months since our last home study, we have added two little rabbits to the household, and Jay and I have each turned 40.) I HOPE that our adoption process will not stretch out so much longer that we will need to have yet another update before our daughter is home, unless we, for some reason end up moving houses. But…I just don’t know.

When we began this process just a little over 2 years ago, the average wait time after all your paperwork was complete to referral was 9 months. The process has lengthened considerably now and there really is no “predictable” average wait time anymore. The best guess as to how much longer we will wait for our referral is, conservatively, a year from now. Even my 6 year-old can do the math on how many months of waiting that will be, but it is too sad to me to type that number out here. Perhaps (I HOPE!) it will be sooner than that, but realistically speaking, that’s what it looks like today.

Increased wait times are mostly due to increased scrutiny in Ethiopia into the adoption process. Much more information and paperwork are being required by the Ethiopian government to go along with each adoption case, particularly relating to investigation into each child’s background prior to them being cleared for adoption. All of this takes more time and manpower, and as a result, far fewer referrals can be given out each month.

After our referral, we wait for a court date, which is scheduled at about 3 months after referral. We make a first trip to Ethiopia for that court date, and that is when we will finally get to meet our daughter (we can’t wait!!). However, we are not cleared to bring her home till after waiting another couple of months for an Embassy date — basically, for her visa to be ready. Right now, the estimated time from referral till a family brings their new son or daughter home is about six months. It could be less, but it could be more.

If all this sounds incredibly long, well, that’s because it is incredibly long!! And yes, it is hard, hard, hard. But as hard as this wait is for us here, I know for certain that the increased wait times are much harder on the children and their caregivers in Ethiopia. And the sad fact is that the longer the wait times are overall, the fewer children who are in need of families will ultimately come home and be welcomed into a family, their family. That makes my heart hurt incredibly.

I have been horrible about updating this blog. Truly, life is full, things are busy, and the fact is that most of us find it simpler to type out a quick little status update on Facebook than to sit down and write a blog post that hardly anyone is going to read anyway. I hope to blog more in the future, if only because in the past, I have so appreciated the account here of our family’s growth and change. Perhaps in the coming months, I will have the joy of blogging about our newest family member, a little girl whom we do not yet know, but who is very real to each of us as we think of her and pray for her daily. She has a place in each of our hearts, and we feel so privileged to wait for her.

May God be with all of those who wait, the children and the families. May He comfort those who mourn, be close to those who are brokenhearted, and place the lonely in families.